Chaos with the Cullens
by Midnight Fanpire
Summary: Two friends are invited by Edward to the Cullens house. The two get bored and decide to cause trouble. What has Edward gotten himself into? Rated T for language. R&R for more chapters.
1. The Text Messages

**The Text Messages**

**A/N: Thanks to my friend, no name mention at this current time, for helping me write this XD. We had so much fun with this!**

_Ok so this is what you need to know, two girls, myself and my friend made this entire chapter with text messages. In the story our names are Erica and Christine. We are having a nice everyday conversation when Christine mentions getting Erica a bucket of blood or a vampire ;) So here's where it all started! Hope you like it! R&R.  
I might even include the little faces we "made" during the story! XP_

* * *

"A bucket of blood would be nice...vampires would just want to take the blood from me.," Erica says, thirsting for blood.

"Ok then, you get this!," Christine says, slapping a pile of hair on the table, it was Jasper's hair.  
(O.o) ---Erica's expression

"Uh...," Erica laughs nervously.

"I'm not even gonna ask how you were able to cut it off without being tackled by security..."

Christine shows Erica two of the Cullen boys, Jasper and Edward, playing the wii. Christine grins and decided she'd show Erica how she did it.

"Uh can I talk to you, Jasper?," Christine asks innocently, although having "evil intentions"

Jasper follows her out to another room where she pulls out a razor to shave him (cut off another chunk of his hair).

Erica watches Edward as he intently plays the wii.

'_I wonder if I could talk to Edward and "fix him up" like Christine is doing with Japser'  
_  
Erica gathers up all of her courage and decides to talk to Edward.

"Hey Edward.....so uh...let's go talk about little Renesmeé.....in Alice's makeup studio."

Erica leads Edward inside where she ties him to a chair and changes his image completely.

After Christine finally let Jasper go, Erica had finished with Edward.

Edward, you make an ugly ass female," Jasper said, no longer containing his laughter, that still rang like a bell.

Edward sees other thoughts in Jasper's mind though.

"DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT!!," Edward yells and makes Jasper look away.

Erica being oblivious to the thought, tries to figure out what Jasper was thinking  
**  
A/N: I was really trying to figure that out for a long time, and I still don't know what it was. Anyways, back to the story.  
**  
Edward still being all decked out from Erica's makeover, with pigtails and lipstick, looks to Erica and says, "You don't even WANT to know. Alice would not approve!"

Erica forgets what Edward told her and tells Edward, they should go shopping. She ws sure they'd find the perfect dress for him.

Erica quickly remembered she forgot Edward's eyeshadow and ran back to the makeup studio. Jasper, once again, looks to Edward, but is forced to look away when his thoughts are read.

Emmett walks in the room and says, "Hey! You'll never guess what Carlisle did! Ya see there was this mushroom --,"

Emmett stops mid-sentence and see his brothers and while laughing says, "OMG! HAHA! LOOK AT YOU GUYS!!!"

Erica finally returns and sees Emmett.

"Oh hey Emmett! We made over your brothers! Do you want a makeover too? One that's....not so....intense?"

Emmett just looks for a second before running. Edward frowns as he sees Emmett run. Christine runs after him, chanting his name and beckoning him to come back. While Christine was chasing Emmett, Erica walked towards Edward with the eyeliner first.

Jasper just sits back and laughs in the background. Erica managed to tackle Edward. She was going to put it on him, whether he wanted it or not.

"C'mon! It's not gonna hurt!" Erica yells, struggling to put it on him.

She finally gets it on him and screams, "See! That is what the power of Carlisle's baseball bat does! Hey Emmett! Come back! This is fun!," She yells the last part loud enough for him to hear.  
**  
A/N: This was before Twilight came out in theaters and I had the calendar with Carlisle holding a baseball bat over his shoulders. I thought I would include it.  
**  
Erica tries to catch up with Christine and Emmett, but unfortunately, she wasn't fast enough. She found a shortcut through one of the halls along the way and cut Emmett off.

"Where ya gonna go now?" Erica asked, confident he couldn't do anything.  
Meanwhile, Edward with his face full of scribbles from eyeline and marks from eyeshadow, looks to Jasper and tells him they need to get out. Relaxation washes over Edward, but then he suddenly tenses up again.

"Stop that, will ya?"

Emmett looks every which way to see that the two have cornered him.

"What you gonna do now?" Emmett says, pointing to something that passed them.

"It's more like, what's SHE gonna do." Emmett says, making the two turn around.

Behind them was Rosalie, looking as if someone had just thrown a pie in her face.

Erica, wide eyed and slightly frightened said, "Uh....hey Rose....we were just...."

Erica stops talking just for a moment, when she sees Edward and Jasper running away.

"....we were leaving!" Erica finishes saying, before she was about to run after Edward.

Erica catches up to Edward and tackles him again.

"I'm taking him home with me. I'll bring him back later." Erica was explaining, like she was some screwy kidnapper.

Erica mouths the word "now" to Christine, as if thee was a plan. Christine starts to back away with Erica, Suddenly Alice appears out of nowhere.

"Ah, so you two are the girls who will --"

Christine and Erica yell in unison, "DON'T RUIN THE PLAN!"

Everyone quiets and stares at the two. They quietly drag away Edward and Jasper.

"You saw nothing and you will do nothing, or else you'll get this!" Erica says threateningly, while holding up a bottle of mint breath spray disguised as pepper spray.

"This contains a formula that will revert your vampiric nature! You wil become mortal again and I know you don't want that"

"I do." Rosalie says, stepping forward.

Christine tries to hold back her laughter at the "formula." Erica is caught off guard, but quicky regains composure.

"Uh...you do huh? Ok then....I'll trade you the guys, including Carlisle and Emmett, for the formula..."

Erica and Rosalie trade the "formula" and gets the guys. Rosalie sprays some of the formula on herself.

"This isn't a formula!"

"Uh-oh! She figured it out!! Run!!" Erica yelled terrified of what Rosalie would do.

**A/N: Alright, so that was all that we shared in the text messages XD. There's a lot more to come, sooner than you think! R&R**


	2. And In Comes Jacob

**A/N: Please review! I plan to put up more chapters, but I would like to know what people think. Even if_ negative_ reviews are made, that's ok. Criticism can be good. My friend and I can always improve on this story.**

* * *

_Last time in Twilight Unleashed_

_Erica and Rosalie trade the "formula" and gets the guys. Rosalie sprays some of the formula._

_"This isn't a formula!"_

_"Uh-oh! She figured it out! Run!!" Erica yelled terrified of what Rosalie would do._

_Now back to Chapter 2_

Rosalie stepped forward with her eyes locked on Erica, but she soon was stopped when an arm came and blocked her from going any further.

"Now Rose, maybe it doesn't work on you" Emmett said as he snatched the "formula" from her hands.

He examined it over and sprayed it all on his face and chest. Nothing happened, which made Rosalie even madder. Erica was seen in the far background dragging Edward with her.

He escaped from her grasp and Erica tackled him, her voice being heard where the Cullens stood. Little did she know that Rosalie now stood behind her.

"So...uh...it takes time to take affect..."

Rosalie was ready to pounce. Erica wasn't ready for it. Emmett stopped Rose once more, letting Erica explain.

"Ahem! Well you see, it's quite simple actually. There is no medicine, formula, spell, or defensive power, that takes affect right away. Give it about an hour Rose."

Rosalie was finding what Erica said hard to believe, but she didn't care. She just wanted to be human again since it was taken away from her so easily. The tension in the room was akward for everyone as they sensed what Rosalie was thinking about.

"That wasn't your fault." Edward said out of no where, probably in response to her thoughts. Suddenly Rosalie's nostrils flared and her eyes darted to the window.

"I smell it too" Edward said with a grin still looking at Rose.

"Smell what?" Christine asked as she looked around curiously.

She lifted her arm and checked to see if it was her.

"Not me!"

Rosalie narrowed her eyes as her gaze was fixed on the window.

"Wet dog."

"Oh great! We need more people here! I could make him over next!" Erica said with a sly grin.

Jacob ran past the window causing Rosalie to cringe. He busted through the door and the first thing he saw was Edward and Jasper. His eye flinched then roared with laughter.

"Who did that to you?"

Then Jacob saw Erica and Christine and realized what happened and turned to leave.

"I think I'll come back later....."

Christine had a big smile on her face. Erica had a really bad feeling about what was going to happen next.

"How about you don't come back at all?" Rosalie bickered as she folded her arms across her chest.

Christine walked closer to Jacob as he was distracted by the beautiful bloodsucker that looked at him with such coldness.

His lips curved into a smile, making Edward bust out laughing. Everyone turned to look at Edward questioningly, making him reply, "The werewolf has jokes."

Carlisle, walking down the stairs noticed the gathering of everyone as he looked up from his clipboard from the world. He noticed Edward's and Jasper's "make-overs" and raised an eyebrow.

"What is going on here? Erica? Don't you go to school with Edward?"

"Hm? Oh yes I do go to school with Edward, so does Christine. You see, he invited Christine and myself over and Christine and I were in a make-over kind of mood and--how do you know my name?"

"I know your mother."

Erica looked confused and said, "I don't get it! How do you know my mom?!?"

"She was in the hospital and I cared for her."

"WHAT?!?!?!?!?!? When was she in the hospital? And you know, that doesn't explain how you know my name!"

"She was in a few weeks ago. She had some issues at work and had to be taken in. I know your name, only because your mother spoke it many times in her sleep. She sounded worried."

"Why didn't I know of this?"

"Your mother thought it would be best if you didn't know."

Erica is deep in thought, trying to figure out why her mother would keep something like that from her. Erica's thoughts are quickly interrupted when she hears Jacob struggling. Before she looks to Jacob, she looks to Edward and sees his crooked smile.

"What is it Edward?"

His golden eyes look to her.

"It's just a wonder what some of you people are thinking."

Erica starts freaking out and wonders if he had heard her thought about him before. Damn! He was a mind reader! Of course he knew. Edward's gaze was locked with Erica's, and it was obvious that he heard everything she was thinking.

"Maybe not everything...Care to explain the rest?" he asked showing his brilliant white teeth as he smiled wider.

Turning red Erica stumbled over her words. All she managed to get out was "I'd rather not." While Edward was trying to  
get answers out of Erica, Christine was messing with Jacob's hair.

"So all this is real?" Christine asks picking at Jacob's hair.

Jacob didn't bother answering. Christine started pulling his hair and everyone heard a high pitched scream. They all stopped what they were doing and began gawking at the two.

"Whoa! Whoa! That scream didn't come from me!" Christine said, looking at everyone except Jacob.

"Argh! What the hell! Did you really have to pull mt har?!?!" Jacob growled as his hands patted down his long hair.

Christine shrugged and Rosalie said, "You deserve it, mutt!"

Carlisle stepped forward before a fight broke out.

"Now that is enough."

There was still tension in the room. Jasper calmed eveyone with his abilities.

"Everyone should relax now."

Everyone did indeed relax and Erica turned to Christine.

"Christine, why did you pull Jacob's hair?"

"It's long. I like long hair."

Erica walks over to Jacob and pulls his hair.

"I don't get the amusement in this" Erica says, continuing to pull Jacob's hair.

Jacob is wincing and struggling to get Erica to release his hair. Erica eventually lets go and laughs.

"You're really making a big deal of your hair being pulled? You're a werewolf! Stuff like that shouldn't hurt you! I can't help but wonder what your reaction would be to have a sparring match with a human."

"Ha! Is the suppsed to be a challenge?"

Erica smiles and says, "Heh! You bet it is!"

**A/N: So that's the end of this chapter. So what do you all think? Sorry, but Erica couldn't resist pulling Jacob's hair after she heard the scream, and Christine really does like long hair. I had to put that in there for her. Any advice or things you think should be in some upcoming chapters? **


	3. Enter Rogue Vampires

_Last time in Twilight Unleashed_

_"Your really making a big deal of your hair being pulled? You're a werewolf! Stuff like that shouldn't hurt you! I can't help but wonder what your reaction would be to have a sparring match with a human."_

_"Ha! Is that supposed to be a challenge?"_

_Erica smiles and says, "Heh! You bet it is!"_

Now back to Chapter 3

"Uh...Erica...? I don't think that's a good idea..." Christine says, trying to stop her.

"Why?"

"....the obvious fact that he is a werewolf!"

"But...I'll be stronger after I fight him. It'll be fun!"

Christine raised a brow at her friend and then looked over to Jacob. He was strong, that was obvious. Far stronger than  
Erica...and to top it all off, he could change right into a werewolf before their eyes and tear them all to bits!

"Erica, I think you're crazy for just thinking about it." Christine said with a grimace.

"Now wait," Carlisle added "I don't think any type of fighting shouls be done in here."

"Where should we go then?"

"The old field where the Cullens play baseball. It's got enough space and there haven't been problems there in so long."

Everyone was so preoccupied with the conversation, that they didn't even notice that Edward had slipped out of the room to clean himself up. Walking back into the room with his hair disheveled and a wet towel in hand he said, "That sounds like a good idea."

With his hearing, he had heard their whole conversation from the other side of the house. Erica grinned and then looked at Edward.

"Hey! I worked hard on your makeover! Why'd you clean yourself up?"

"It was annoying."

Erica pouts, but then gets over it.

"To the Cullenz mobiles!"

"Haha! Cullenz...Eduardo Cullenz..."

Erica and Christine burst into laughter, only they knew the joke. Everyone looked at them like they were crazy before Erica said again, "To the Cullenz mobiles! Let's go people!"

They decided to take Emmett's Jeep and Edward's Volvo. (**A/N: God I want his Volvo. It's sooo cool and beautiful**)

Jacob didn't want to ride in a car with a bunch of blood suckers. He ran to the field and got there before everyone. As everyone was getting out the of cars, Jacob was stretching as if he knew this fight would take time.

"You ready wolf?"

"Ha! More of, are YOU ready? You don't have a chance against me!"

"Or so you think"

With that, Jacob grinned and folded his arms over his bare chest. The sun's rays leaked through the canopy othe leaves naturally made over them, shining on the vampires' cold marble skin. The light emmitting from them was mystifying.

Something neither Christine or Erica had ever seen before.

"For your sake Erica, I hope the dog has some kind of accident." Rosalie said with disgust as she stepped into the shade.

"That dog needs what's coming to him."

Jacob's brows pulled together as he frowned.

"Let's just get this over with." he said as he went into fighting position.

Erica did the same, but the fight was paused when Jacob noticed Erica's button (**A/N: It was a pin that had a smilie with fangs and said "blood-sucker ** **"**)  
Before he could say anything, a noise was heard from the clearing making the vampires and humans alike to look towards the clearing.  
Clouds began to shadow the forest. Three vampires reveal themselves. One vampire, that seemed to be the leader, was a heavy weight.  
He was dressed like a sushi chef, they saw as the three approached. The other two with him were just as strange! The one on the left was dressed like a monkey organ griner and the one on the right was dressed like the little monkey (**We weren't sure at first if it was a organ grinder or a monkey grinder, so we just combined it XD**)  
They were like a clan of escaped circus freaks.

(O.o) ---Erica and Christine as they watch the leeches approach.

The fat on the sushi chef jiggled up and down, the monkey's hair caught the breeze and Spiffy's mustache stayed pasted to his face as the three took their merry old time coming to the coven. Carlisle checked his watch.

Jeez, for being vampire and being fast, they sure made one hell of an entrance.

The three vampires walked up to Carlisle, knowing that he was the "leader" of the group. Meanwhile, Edward walked over to Erica protectively as the vampires eyes the various space.

"What do they want?" Christine asked as she stood near Alice. Spiffy, the unwelcomed guest broke his glare from his  
"monkey" boy to stare at her.

"What is your business here?" Carlisle asked as he looked from Edward to the newcomers.

Before the men could reply, Jacob grumbled.

"You're sorta disturbing something here ya know!"

Erica waited and answered Christines question, "They want to perform something" pointing to the money organ grinder and the monkey, "and he want to make.....sushi. Gross."

Edward stood near Erica with a frown frozen on his face.

"What's wrong?" Erica sked as she turned towards Eduardo Cullenz (**A/N: XD**)

"I don't think it's sushi they are here for. There is another voice I hear."

"Do you think you know where it's coming from? If you pinpoint the location, I can make who or whatever it may be, come out of hiding."

Edward's eyes shot to the forest beside them.

"What? What is it?" she asked as she tried to follow his stare.

"I forgot your hearing is not like mine. I hear something from over there/ Too heavy to be an animal and I can hear thier thoughts from here."

She gave him a mean look. She obviosuly knew her hearing wasn't as good as his. Hell! She was practically deaf compared to him!

"I know that. You human can barely hear anything." Edeard replied trying to get his tense face to grin. It was obvious that he was listening to her thoughts.

Everytime she would hear his response to her personal thoughts, she'd make a face that would always make him laugh.

As Carlisle and Alice talked with the new vampires. Jacob stood with his arms folded watching the gathering Christine saw as she looked around.

She noticed though that Emmett was no where to be found. It wasn't long until he came from the trees into the clearing carrying someone by the collar of their shirt.

"Look who I found." Emmett said as he released the person, making them stumble to the group.

Erica was surprised looking down at yet another new guest. "Who's this?"

**A/N: So what do you think of this chapter? I have 3 more chapters to go! I'm going to need A LOT of help when I get to that chapter! So please review and give me some ideas!**


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